Despite the predicted millennium disaster and threat of complete computer meltdowns throughout the world the year 2000 started like any other. We all survived the turn of the century unscathed. The year began just like any other, but the amount of debt that I had was ever mounting and reaching a peak at $60,000. The stress, the worry, and the lack of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel was just sucking the life out of me.
Before I was married I had lived a debt free life (other than my car loan), but after my first marriage I quickly developed my first wife's bad financial habits. The debt, although a decision of free will, was escalating year after year. I allowed this debt to mount mainly because my wife wanted a lifestyle that we could not afford. Not that I enjoyed the lifestyle just as much in the beginning. But whenever I had addressed the situation I was put down for not making enough money. So I would cave every time she wanted to spend money we didn't have. I would slap the vacations, dinners out, etc right on a credit card. I am probably sounding like a wimp, but I did put up with it. I now have to live with those choices, but just like everything else in life things pass in time.
As the debt began to come to head and every credit card was reaching it's breaking point I had enough. I had initiated another discussion about the debt, but was met with the usual you are loser, you don't make enough money, and so on. I had been a 10 year employee of one the country's biggest banks, I went to work everyday, had won numerous awards for sales, was a loyal husband, never drank to excess, never gambled, never beat or hurt my wife in any way, but was still treated like I was a failure.
I couldn't believe I had let this happen. Especially, with all my years of education and working in finance. My credit and had been perfect before my marriage, not that it wasn't at the time, I was still making payments on time, but all the credit cards were on verge of being at their max and the straw was about to break the camels back.
This madness had to stop. My wife had bad credit before our marriage so any financing was always done one my credit. The fact that I was about to put the kibosh on the spending did not go well. Shortly after that I was told it was probably best I move out. Even though we, or I had financial problems as she would tell it, I still loved my wife and I did not think this was a good idea, but I did comply fearing things would get worse and the fact that she did tell me things would get ugly if I didn't.
I moved into my own apartment and really kept our separation hush-hush for a while. I had counseled so many young tellers on the importance of good credit and encouraged them to save diligently for their retirement. I trained them all well for those I still keep in touch with have top notch credit scores and are continuing to mass a great retirement. I was so ashamed to tell anyone about my financial plight. Eventually, I confided in my friend Michael, who had a secret of is own. He was single, but actually had more credit card debt than me. This had given me a feeling of not being alone with all that debt and that if two long term bankers had debt I was sure we were not the only ones. Michael and I had discussed filing bankruptcy. It was kind of like if you do it I'll do it. Neither of us took the leap and in future posts I'll show not making the decision to file bankruptcy was a good one.
Even though I knew I was not the only one who had a massive amount of debt I was devastated. Not only was I facing divorce I couldn't believe I had been so stupid. Depression had set in and even though I would never end up making the decision to file bankruptcy I did have thoughts of suicide(another good decision I decided against). I am Christian and although I was familiar with the book known as Job I had never read it. It did come up time and time again and I had finally decided to read the book from the Bible and the book of Job had started me on my way to paying off my $60,000 in credit card debt...
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