Shhh! Don't Tell My Spouse I Have Debt: 6 Ways to Come Clean With Your Spouse

Talking to someone about your finances, not to mention debt, can be extremely hard for people. I have had many girlfriends, including my current wife, who all had a problem revealing their debt to me. I guess it may have been a little intimidating that for an extended period of time I was debt free and had a FICO credit score over 800, but the limited amount of debt they truly had, did not compare to the six figures of debt that I once had and now have again.  In a way I have the same problem, as only readers of Financial Elite and my wife know the amount of debt we have, but talking about your debt and having people keep you accountable works wonders.

A balance between being supportive and holding someone accountable can take experience and commitment. We all have impulsive moments, but when they are frequent and uncontrollable, it can be hard to admit. It is extremely hard when a husband or a wife owes thousands on a credit card that the other knows nothing about. When your spouse comes to you with this news, you need to listen with understanding. One reason someone won't come clean is because they are afraid of what you are going to say.

If you are scared to death to tell your spouse about your debt, here are six ways to help you come clean:

1. You have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Coming clean about $10,000 of debt on one credit card and still keeping another credit card with a $7,500 balance a secret doesn't work. It's all or none.
2. Decide a time when you and your spouse can get together to discuss the debt. Ask your spouse to hear you out before they respond to your confession.  Be sure to tell them the situation as sincerely as you can and exactly as it happened.
3. After you tell them everything ask them what they think and listen to them just as they listened to you.
4. Have your spouse help you devise a plan of how to pay off the debt, use a combination of budgeting and debt snowballing. Sell things at a loss if you have to.
5. Have weekly meetings to stay accountable and continue working on paying off the debt. This will help prevent a relapse and keep your communication open about your finances.
6. When the debt is repaid in full continue talking about your finances. Remember you are team and should be working on your wealth building together.   

I know it's hard to come clean, but I guarantee the debt is stressful enough without worrying if you are going to get found out. Set aside a time to talk to your spouse now, "All you have to lose is your debt."

[This post is written and copyrighted by Financial Elite (http://financialelite.blogspot.com/ ).]

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