The first time I was six figures in debt I told no one. My ex-wife knew, but she helped contribute to the problem in the first place.
Everyone just thought I had money to burn. Especially, my family, with my mom always referring to me as her "rich son."
I was too ashamed to tell anyone the mass of debt that had been acquired. That first time though it seemed I had been forced into it. The constant arguing over money with my then wife ultimately led to our divorce. In least in my eyes it did, as she would probably say I just didn't make enough money, which was true for the lifestyle she wanted to live.
After my divorce I had come clean about the debt. Everyone was in disbelief that I had so much debt. But the debt that built up during my first marriage had begun to get cut down, left and right. It wasn't overnight, but things just seemed to line up, one after the other. After 5 years I was debt free and determined not to let it happen again.
But it did happen all over again -- six figures in debt...again! After the last time I did become the "rich son" as my mother calls me. Remaining debt free and a massing quite the savings. When this current recession hit though, I began heading in the same direction as I did before and again, I didn't tell a soul. I was once again a closet debtor.
I recently read on article at CNNMoney.com called 'The secret lives of America's debtors' and it inspired my to change the title of the Financial Elite blog to our current name. I have so many friends and family members coming clean to me on a regular basis and after reading this article and seeing so many others coming clean as well I figured I might as well as join the party.
In the article I read one wife describe how she opened a credit card without her husbands knowledge and charged it up, "I thought that I'd just pay it off each month," she said, "But it was $100 here and $200 there, and soon it was spiraling out of control." The wife suggests, "It's better to be honest," she says, "Sure, you'll probably cause a fight -- but at some point you've got to stop fighting."
My current wife of course knows our current financial situation, but at this moment only our current readers now the truth. I still haven't come clean. I guess this time around I still feel ashamed and maybe there is an ego thing attached as well. I listen to so many people having problems and I just tentatively listen without sharing with them and telling them I know what you mean.
The last time this happen to me though I was determined not to file bankruptcy and this time is no different. I didn't give up without a fight the last go around. So here we go putting up my dukes again.
So the question still remains. Will I come out of the closet? Well, I think I just did.
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